Hello from Orlando! I will give updates below, but I wanna jump right into a story...

Late into the evening on day two of the Running Industry Alliance Conference (I had given a talk on sustainability earlier that day), I sat with a friend, trading stories about moments in our lives that made us who we are. After a day of professional and strategic conversations, I always crave this kind of talk, the deep stuff.

This friend though, while I would use the word "friend," I had not spent more than ten minutes talking to. Very much both connector, social people, we had always been on our way somewhere else, connecting with someone else, or texting with intentions to have a meeting (chat), but never actually getting to that part where we make it happen.

Once we did sit down, I wanted to know who he was. I wanted to skip the pleasantries, the same old conversations of "Where are you from and what do you do?" and get right to the "What made you, you?" part.

I could sense he enjoyed these kinds of chats too.

At some point we talked about my amenorrhea, my history with disordered eating, and REDs.

He said, "Do you think it was all in your head?", meaning my physical body was experiencing symptoms for the stress going on in my mind.

I felt my defenses go up.

EXCUSE ME?!

How could it possibly be in my head? The mind is powerful, yes, but I had very real, very physical symptoms, and I was definitely undereating at times.

We moved on to another topic a few minutes later and carried on with our conversation.

Here is the thing though:

His words stuck with me. I did have many of the symptoms of REDs, but I can tie each of them to tension and stress.

I had horrific insomnia, tossing and turning, my brain on overdrive until I finally fell asleep from exhaustion hours later.

I was always cold, always wearing tight clothing.

I was stressed about my workouts, my training, my work, my family.

My period was missing and that weighed on me every single day.

Everything in my life was about control and trying to reach an impossible perfection.

The day my insomnia went away for good?

The day my first child was born. For the first time in my life, I had one thing and one thing only to do, keep this child alive.

It didn't matter if I didn't reply to emails (in fact, in some ways I was expected not to), it didn't matter if I "exercised" or not, it didn't matter about anything, really. All I had to do was take care of this little person.

The interesting thing is, I noticed that as she slept for longer and longer chunks of time, the restless mind didn't return. And it didn't return as I got back to work. It didn't return when she turned five years old. It was like that moment wiped my inner whiteboard clean and I could start again.

Don't get me wrong, I still occasionally have nights when my mind is racing and I struggle to fall asleep, but they are at times that make sense, and there isn't that same feeling of,

I HAVE TO GET TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW; WHY AM I NOT SLEEPING? I HATE SLEEP.

That early postpartum period also helped me to let go of trying to get everything right. Motherhood taught me that I just can't do it, and trying makes me miserable.

Growing and looking after a tiny human and knowing that my nourishment was her nourishment allowed me to stop thinking about food as something that made me "fat" or not, and instead as something that helped me and Bailey to thrive, something to be enjoyed.

I am still controlling at times, my husband Steve can definitely attest to that, but I have loosened my grip on controlling everything and anything. I feel better; I feel content; I feel joy that was hard to find in my past.

I still don't think my REDs was totally mental. My body is in a much better place now. I don't get cold all the time. I have a regular period. I can sleep.

But I do think the stress side of it had more of an effect than I realized before.

Sometimes our instinctual reaction to something that someone says can be quick firing and defensive; that is okay, we are protecting ourselves from a perceived threat.

And sometimes, that comment can contain a nugget of truth, and if we allow ourselves to explore it, we can learn something new about ourselves, and in my opinion, that is always worth finding.

Last week on the Running For Real podcast...

Home in England last week I missed the newsletter, so a double podcast update for you.

First, Cheryl:

Cheryl Toussaint knows the importance of a mentor in young people’s lives. She was just thirteen when she met running coach Fred Thompson, who insisted that his teenage athletes pursue excellence not only on the track, but in school.

Under his tutelage, she earned a scholarship to New York University and went on to win Olympic silver at the 1972 Games. Today, as Director of the Colgate Women’s Games, she carries on his mission to inspire and empower young women.

This week on the Running For Real podcast...

As we come to the end of 2024, this is my update episode to reflect back on the year that was and share what I am looking forward to in an exciting 2025!

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I was home in the UK last week after that conference, and when visiting my aunt in the countryside, we found out that a fallen tree had taken out the power line. She doesn't have cell service anytime, but this took out the Wi-Fi connection, and suddenly, there was no option of connecting to the internet, no matter how much I wanted to. I LOVED it and felt so free. I need to find a way to bring more of that into my life. For now, I started with deleting my Instagram as soon as I did get service, using that forced reset to break the habit.

I arrived in Orlando on Monday and will be here till the 27th. Steve is here for a conference, so we decided to come too, as next week we are having a Disney World holiday week. It is going to be chaos, but I am also excited. I will report back!

Impressive work from London Marathon Events. I know how hard the Sustainability Director works to push for changes like this. It is great to see.

“The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.”

– Diane Von Furstenberg

Thanks to our partner, Precision Fuel & Hydration

Oh, it brought me joy to see runners at CIM using and LOVING Precision Fuel and Hydration for their gels and electrolytes. Mild tasting, easy to enjoy, and enough carbs to actually sustain your running, whether you like gels or powder in your reusable bottle; of course they loved it!

This morning I ran for eight miles, which means I can officially start building up a long run, so Precision Mint and Lemon Chews and Original Gels can start coming into my running life again. As I begin to dare to dream of running in a race, I can envision Precision as an important part of that day.

If you haven't loved what you have taken in the past, now is a great time to try these and make fueling easy on yourself.

As a friend of mine, you can get 15% off with the link below.

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Be kind to one another, yourself, and this beautiful planet of ours.

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