There is one weekend I look forward to every year.

Okay, that's not exactly true. There are multiple weekends I look forward to every year (including the TCS New York City Marathon weekend and the Bank of America Chicago Marathon weekend, to name two).

And even that...

"Look forward to."

I talk to my kids about there being good in every day, joy in even the hardest times. We can find something to be in awe of even in the darkest moments. Our planet, even if we can't see anything else positive, provides us with that.

And yet, I'll be honest, I do find myself especially excited to go into certain weekends.

There isn't anything wrong with that either.

One of those weekends I look forward to is the Running USA Conference, and this year, it was held in St. Louis, Missouri, my former home (ooof, still hurts my heart a little to say that).

I was proud to welcome the running industry to what I still consider, what feels in my heart like, (and may always be) my city.

It also gave me a good reason to go back for a few days to visit the people I love and miss, which I did. I also supported the businesses I love for their environmental commitments and their support of the LGBTQ+ community, and my favorite business, Telva, donated all proceeds from Friday to the MICA Project and made a record day. I was proud to spend my money there (and enjoy their delicious goodies).

I drove over to downtown St. Louis on Friday evening, cup filled and ready to begin the conference.

As a board member, I had a full day of meetings on Saturday, followed by wrapping up on Sunday morning. It's a busy schedule, but very productive, and I was excited as my duties for the conference began, starting with supporting registration efforts.

Around 2pm, mid conversation with two friends, fellow board member (and CEO of Achilles International), Emily Glasser, and founder of Endorphins Running, Tyler Swartz, I suddenly felt very, very ill.

I couldn't hear what they were saying.

My vision started to blur.

As someone who has a severe phobia of needles and often needs to lie down when I have shots/injections (yes, I know, laughable; I can do natural childbirth, but I can't do needles in my arm), I know these symptoms.

I was going to pass out.

For some reason, even in that moment, surrounded by friends, I blurted out, I need to pee, excuse me, instead of telling the truth. Why? I don't know. Not wanting to be a burden or weak, or, I don't know, ego?

Either way, I stumbled down the stairs, sat in the bathroom as the world swirled around me, as sweat poured from my face, and took deep breaths.

A few minutes later, I emerged, wondering what the heck was going on. I hadn't eaten enough that day, that was true, but surely not enough to nearly pass out.

As I went back into the room with others, they all looked at me with wide eyes.

You are as pale as a sheet. Sit down! Sit down!

When I told them what had happened, my friend (and fellow board member), Chris Joffe, a paramedic and the founder and CEO of an emergency services company, came and stood over me, legs apart, arms crossed, eyeing me, ready to move if I passed out.

That's when I really knew I didn't look good.

They got me to eat some fruit, and I rested.

About 10 minutes later, I started to feel nauseous. I knew this feeling; the next step was likely coming, and even feeling that way, my brain still went to the number one priority, preventing the embarrassment of vomiting on the floor.

Chris did not even ask if he could walk me back to my room; he was coming.

Within a minute of leaving the room, I knew it was coming. You know what.

The fruit I just ate was up and out. Thankfully, I made it to a bathroom!

So yes, for the next three hours, it was violent, and friends, there is little worse than a violent vomit. It was horrible.

But it was over relatively quickly and by 6pm, had stopped.

Then began, in many ways, the hardest part.

It was a given I was done for the day, for the opening reception, but I also had to begin accepting that here I was in St. Louis, in my hotel room, and that is where I would stay for the next 24-48 hours. At that point, we didn't know what it was; if it was flu, it might be 48-72 hours.

These things happen, and I have been fortunate up to this point not to have missed work events due to sickness, but one of my absolute favorite things I love to do is connect people, and I had so many connections I wanted to make, so many hugs I wanted to give.

But there was nothing to do but rest.

The next morning, when the Board of Directors were called up, it was announced that I was sick, and the texts flooded in. So loving and kind, so thoughtful, but also painful. I wanted to be out there more than anything.

I also knew I didn't want to get people I care about (or like, or even any human being, period!) sick, so I had to accept it.

Why share this today?

Because while there is a lot going on in this world, a lot of pain, a lot of division, a lot of sadness, as I shared at the beginning, there is also always something positive to take from it.

My absence meant I got so many reminders of how much I was cared for.

My sickness gave me nothing but gratitude for my body and my health.

My missing out allowed me to take in beautiful sunsets through my window that I otherwise would have missed.

My time not spent frantically connecting people meant I had to think through what I would prioritize on the final day, meant I got time I cherished with best friends who came to visit me when I was better, but before my strength was restored and I emerged.

So while we take in what we are seeing, and it is important to not look away, (this testimony from Aliya Rahman was the DEFINITION of bravery , by the way; watch the whole thing, even though you will want to exit and do something else), it is also important that we find the glimmers of good in these times. It is the only way we get through, the only way we find common ground and get through this (watch the video in the Check It Out section below).

And if you are struggling to find that positivity, I am here, not physically, obviously, but holding your hand just as I felt my hand being held by those at the conference sending their love and healing to me.

Diiiiidd you see this about the Paris Marathon and Culligan x HydraPak (these besties make me so happy!!)? Paris is having no disposable cups in the race, refills only. I am honored and excited to be running this marathon, so you will get my POV of what it is like, and I am taking every type of refillable item, so I can test them all!

Wanna know more about the Running USA Conference?

​Take a read of this (and then watch the video); what a beautiful example of Minnesotans being Minnesotans and humans doing what we do best.

--

Want to join Racing For Sustainability Champions?

We would LOVE to have you, and let me just tell you, we have some incredible opportunities to run with us this year: most of the Abbott World Marathon Majors, most of the large marathons, or the race(s)of your choice. And we have a Lululemon Racing For Sustainability tank top (made of 100% recycled materials) that you are gonna love!

One of my readers, and a fierce supporter of mine, Clark Rose, shared this with me last week; I am passing it on to you:

Towards the very end of his life, Abraham Joshua Heschel was asked what provided him with "awe and wonder." He simply responded, "everything."

Thanks to our partner, AG1

You wanna know what's funny? I missed my AG1 during the days I was traveling to St. Louis before the conference. While I was sick, I laughed (kinda) to myself that this was my punishment. Ha. Obviously doesn't work that way, but one thing I do know is that I jumped right back on AG1 the moment I began eating and drinking normally.

AG1 is powered by antioxidants, probiotics, and functional mushrooms, and it supports immune system resilience, something I’m especially grateful for right now.

At night, AGZ helps prepare my mind and body for truly restful sleep. I’ve been blown away by how easily I drift off as it helps my nervous system unwind, even on particularly chaotic days. Chocolate mint, about 90 minutes before bed, is my favorite.

And yes, UK, Canada, Europe friends, you also get the same deal!

--

Be kind to one another, yourself, and this beautiful planet of ours.

Enjoying these? Why not forward to a friend who may enjoy. Encourage them to sign up and get these emails too. And if you missed an email, or would like to reread one, you can find past newsletters here.