Last weekend, I crewed one of my best friends to a 3rd place finish at the Leadville 100 mile.

I fell in love with the race last year, and put it on my mental list of "someday." Billy Yang made one of the best running videos (in my opinion) I have ever seen, "The Why," and that was about Leadville. I experienced the race up close and personal through pacing my friend Brian Reynolds, who was attempting to be the first double amputee to run 100 miles. I got to run the Hopes Pass section with him, and it took my breath away.

I also stood on the start line last year with Matt Choi, and he told me, "I am gonna do this next year." Sure enough, he did, and while I missed his finish, I am excited to catch up with him later to feel how it went (in my Tina way, you know I don't want the social media version!).

Last year, when Brian and I got to Winfield, the 50 mile mark, after the time cut off, I came across another of my friends, shivering on the ground. It was Dan Churchill. He was the definition of a broken man. He had put so much into this and it broke my heart. Running up to Dan in the 29th hour of the race this year for the most ginormous hug, knowing what he had been through, well, let's just say it kicked up my ""someday" question mark to starting to explore whether I should try to enter next year.

I find it interesting that while I get to see Ryan's races up close, and I know the work he puts in to be at the top of the elite ultra runners, his running, as such, doesn't inspire me to do it. It feels too far away from where I would be. Ryan ran 16 hours, Dan ran 29, and Billy Yang ran 28:30. I think I would be somewhere between Ryan and those two, but honestly, they inspire me to believe I can do it myself more than Ryan does.

And yet....

Leadville actually wasn't what I intended on writing about today. I actually wanted to share a longer version of what I will share on social media sometime today:

I RAN last week!

Two days!

It was not the experience I thought it would be. In some ways it was so far off my heart broke, in other moments it was so far beyond what I could have expected.

Let me explain:

The primary reason I went out to Leadville this year was because I could double dip with my reason for going. I really try to be intentional with my travel, and I needed to go back to see my PT in Vail once more, somewhere around this time, so we could get a full running plan together. When Ryan said about Leadville, it was the perfect way to do both at the same time; take care of me and my body, and be there for my best friend.

On Thursday, I went to Howard Head Sports Medicine to see my PT, Ana Robinson. She has been the most incredible human being during this recovery period, and she sat me down, talking through a way we could make my first run with Ryan on Saturday. We would have to test it that day. I had just been for a four mile hike in Vail, and we would need to also prove my body was ready through paced exercises to a metronome, as well as a run outside.

A run outside?! Today? That felt SO scary.

When we went out there, it took me about 30 seconds of willing my legs to move before they did. Right before I left, Ana said, "If you feel good, keep going past the fire station" (otherwise I would have turned around after about 45 seconds).

So I started to run, and the pain was SIGNIFICANT. At least a 4-5/10. Everything felt wrong, and I started to mentally spiral:

How can it hurt this bad? I waited two extra weeks! Oh my god, it's gonna be another month before I can try again! I did everything they said; how can this still hurt so bad!

I turned around way before the turn-around point and ran back to her, holding back tears, "It hurts! It hurts!"

She calmed me down (a little) by reminding me it is okay for it to hurt, but when you have been in the mindset that any pain above a 2 is a STOP right now, it threw me into a panic.

She had me run again, and then she did "recovery" work on it through manual PT. We went out to dinner, and it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, but the next morning would really show me.

The next morning, I prepared for the worst as I took my first steps. It was sore, but no worse than it has been after other exercises. I went back to Ana that morning, and we talked through options. I told her my gut was saying, "No, no, no, not ready." So we worked through some scenarios and I said I would rather do more exercises and wait another two weeks to try running again. She said if it felt okay the next day, and I felt the urge to run with Ryan for a small amount, I could. I left it as very unlikely.

But by the end of the day, the pain had faded. I was relieved.

Race day came, and I had no intention of running at all.

At 23 miles, Ryan came in very early, and I was halfway across the field, getting an anti-chafe, in case he needed it. I heard "Go Ryan!" and without thinking, started to run.

I was only thinking of Ryan in the next few minutes, but once he left, I realized that, actually, it didn't hurt.

So I chose to run with him as he came into the next aid station, Twin Lakes, and for 0.3 miles, the pain was a 1. I was focused on Ryan, but very aware my pain was significantly less.

If you wanna know my mental state in this moment:

I did it again on the way back, and then again at mile 87.

While this felt amazing, the true test would be the morning after.

I held my breath as I took my first steps that next morning, but it didn't hurt. ZERO pain. For the first time since surgery, I had NO pain for my first few steps.

I couldn't believe it.

I texted Ana, and her response, amongst some other celebratory words, was

"I am happy to report, we may be able to shift our plan just a little bit :)"

For the first time this weekend, I saw the other side, and it feels amazing!

This week on the Running For Real podcast...

Here's the official description:

When Drew Petersen ran the Leadville 100 in 2022, he had a mantra written on each hand: “Feel It All” and “Celebrate.” The first one became the title of his new documentary. Feel It All chronicles Drew’s journey from suicidal depression to finding purpose and strength by running the iconic ultramarathon. Drew has already saved lives by sharing part of his story in Ups and Downs. With the release of Feel It All, he hopes to help even more people, and to elevate the conversation around mental health and suicide.

Here's the real deal:

I watched Drew finish the race on Sunday morning, and it was so joyful. That is the beautiful thing about Drew, he truly does practice what he preaches. In the interview, you will hear him cry as he explains some of how he has felt in dark periods, but he also can feel joy on a level most of us can't reach.

We all need to learn more about suicide and talk about it more; it will save countless lives, but beyond that, this episode is just a powerful reminder of a good human being doing their best and sometimes struggling to keep going, but understanding that all emotions are valid emotions. I think it can help every single one of us.

Wanna watch Ryan finish? You can here.

Live in NYC (or near it)? I will be there for Climate Week (Sept 23-27) and hosting at least three events that week at various times and locations...stay tuned!

Watch Drew's film, Feel it All, on YouTube

Go watch Billy Yang's "The Why"​

“Some people see scars, and it is wounding they remember. To me, they are proof of the fact that there is healing.

― Linda Hogan

Thanks to our partner, Precision Fuel & Hydration

Ooooh, did I love watching Precision in action this weekend at Leadville! As the nutrition sponsor for the race, it brought me great joy to see so many runners using Precision, and Ryan finished in 3rd place with almost exclusively getting his calories from Precision Fuel and Hydration.

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Now that I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, I am excited for my future with Precision by my side as I train my stomach for these races. During the time I have had to use them on the bike to this point, I have learned more and more about how to read my body to know when it's time for more fuel.

If you feel overwhelmed by trying to figure out how many gels to take (and how often), as well as your electrolyte usage, use this free fuel and hydration planner they created.​

My fave items? PF Original gel, PF mint and lemon chews, and PH 1000 electrolytes.

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Be kind to one another, yourself, and this beautiful planet of ours.

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