This hurts; it's over
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World Athletics announced this morning that the World Athletics Road Running Championships is being moved out of San Diego to another city. My role as Sustainability Director for the event? Over. In some ways, I am relieved. I was in over my head; the imposter thoughts were loud and strong; could I really pull this off? Sure, I had the city of San Diego in my corner, but there was a LOT I didn’t know. I was feeling my way through the dark, and I felt I was doing okay at it, but never quite sure. Now those thoughts are gone. Relief yes, but also devastation. I gave endless hours to this event during the last year and a half. More importantly though, I put my heart and soul into it. It was clear even to the governing body that I cared about it deeply and was prepared to do whatever I needed to do. I was determined to make this a glimpse into the future of what running could be. I heard Taylor Swift's "Whose Afraid of Little Old Me?" playing through my brain as I sat across the table from three men on the leadership team for the San Diego Convention Center. As I made it clear that I was going to do the work to make this event sustainable in every way I possibly could...they did not react well, but once they understood my vision and passion, they began to work with me to make those visions possible. What hurts the most are the relationships I made within the San Diego community and the ways I let them down. I know, I know, I didn't really let them down, it's not on me, but I'll be honest, it does feel that way. My incredible friends who were behind me 100% and believed what I envisioned this event could be: There was Elektra with Tree San Diego, a tree-planting event we had planned for runners to purchase a tree for local residents in communities that need it the most in a warming world. There were Risa and Kayla from Paddle For Peace, who were going to host a beach day with a beach cleanup, an art project utilizing the waste, and a mindfulness workshop. There was Goodwill San Diego: Jacky, Kelsey, and Darlene, along with environmentalist John. We were working on creative ways to bring reusables into the Championships in new ways. And then there was Chris, my dear friend from Garden31, an incredible nonprofit that helps formerly incarcerated youth to redirect their lives through learning organic farming. As an official charity of the event, and what our Green Team would be raising money for, this part hurts the most. Chris doesn’t need me; he is doing the most beautiful work and will continue to do so, but I had such clear visions of our work together around the race from the very first time we talked on the phone in early 2024. But by far the most painful part of this is what I have been working on for over a year, the initiative I would share with friends when they would ask me, "What's new?": the medals we were creating. I had connected with Joelene from the La Jolla Band of Luiseño Indians, and through a beautiful collaboration of Joelene and her tribe; Tom from Lumbercycle; Ashworth Awards; and KoySun, an incredible artist from San Diego; we were building something special. This We were going to create a medal from San Diego Coastal Oak trees that were cut down because of an oak borer beetle infestation. Joelene was going to create the medal based on a design by Koy. Koy was also going to design the medal ribbon. Tom, someone who has been in the lumber industry a long time, was going to advise and support with production. Ashworth Awards were there for guidance, to provide support, and create the World Championship (Gold, Silver, Bronze) medals. It was the most beautiful example of collaborating to make something new. It proved to me that people could see opportunities provided to one person as a way to grow future opportunties for everyone. That when we work together, we make something better than we could make alone. Here is the thing: I know my work here was not wasted. Yes, I put a LOT into this, but I learned a lot; I explored the boundaries of what is possible for a running event. I stood up strong when (some, not all!!) men stood opposite me, clearly not respecting me or the work I was doing. I am proud of the way I stood up for what I believe in. It still hurts though. I really believed this event could be a watershed moment in running. It could prove that performance, mass participation, and sustainability can go hand-in-hand. World Athletics prioritizes sustainability, so I thought I had the opportunity to do what no established ("It's the way it's always been") event had been able to do. That's not gonna happen, but I do trust in my journey and trust that somehow, some way, this is for the best. For today, I am going back to my sad songs playlist and I am gonna cry it out. More about the above on my Instagram here. I will be sharing a lot more on LinkedIn about ways you can be sustainable in your career. If you are on there, follow my page here. NYRR included Zoë and me in their list of women's books to read for Women's History Month. What a list of women we are alongside! Speaking of NYRR: Come join me for a plog the day before the NYRR United Airlines NYC Half on the 15th:
OR if you live in (or near) Chicago: Come join me for a plog the day before the Shamrock Shuffle, Saturday the 22nd. I don't have a link yet, but save the date and time (12pm). Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that's good.- Elizabeth Edwards Thanks to our partner, AG1The days are getting longer and spring is right around the corner! That means more outdoor activities, fresh energy, and a great time to refresh your wellness routine with a great tasting Daily Health Drink. I love groggily bumbling down the stairs to the fridge to get my day going with AG1. I have done it for five years, and have no plans of stopping anytime soon!
Yes, I really do love it as much as it seems! -- Be kind to one another, yourself, and this beautiful planet of ours. Enjoying these? Why not forward to a friend who may enjoy. Encourage them to sign up and get these emails too. And if you missed an email, or would like to reread one, you can find past newsletters here. |
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