Why can't I do it?


I have the entry.

I can't bring myself to sign up yet.

It feels too scary, too big, too final.

What am I being cryptic about, you ask?

My return to racing race.

It's not that I am nervous for the pressure I am putting on myself. It really isn't that. I don't feel any kind of performance pressure for my first real race back. It's my journey, that will unfold the way it was meant to, and I am on my own path that doesn't change, no matter what anyone else thinks of it.

I also am really enjoying the journey back to fitness. Seeing glimmers of my fitness clicking back in (like running 16 miles with lots of "vert" last weekend at a pace I haven't touched in a long time), lifting new personal best weights in the gym, and just feeling more like me.

While I have plenty of races on my calendar for the rest of this year (including RBC Brooklyn Half, Bank of America Chicago 13.1, Broken Arrow 23k Skyrace (!) with HydraPak, Bank of America Chicago Marathon, TCS New York City Marathon), all of those feel within my comfort zone.

Well, Broken Arrow definitely is not within my comfort zone, but feels like a fun level of challenge.

The race I am looking to spend the next six months working towards though?

That one feels WAY out of my comfort zone, and right on the edge of what is doable for me. The goal would be to finish.

Here is the thing though:

That is exactly what I want. I want something that I have never done before. I know personal bests in the marathon and below are not realistic (or at least I have zero desire to go to the place required to try).

I have run a 50 mile race, so what is the logical next choice?

Yep, 100k, 62 miles. And that is what I want it to be, what it is going to be.

If only I can bring myself to register.

It's not fear that stops me; it's more like it feels like such a big moment, where I am essentially saying to myself, "Okay, rehab is over, time to go."

After being in rehab for well over a year, in some ways, rehab feels like a bit of a safety net.

I am hoping that by sending this email, I will go for it, sign up, and not have to overdramatize it, like everything else I do.

Before you yell at me, WHAT RACE IS IT, TINA?!

RMB Ultra-trail Cape Town 100k.

Yup.

I can't stand the word "epic"; I think it is so overused.

However, in this case it feels fitting. I want it to be epic. I want it to be something I have to work damn hard to even finish, and right now, I am more motivated to give my best than I have been in a very long time (maybe even going back to when I ran for GB&NI in 2016).

So let's give it a go.

Go look for my name among the registrants; am I doing this?


Two plogging events this month:

Brooklyn on May 16th

I am excited to be returning to the RBC Brooklyn Half in a few weeks. Last time I ran it, I finished third (that won't be happening this time around!)

This time I am running it a little differently:

The amazing fashion designer who made my trash skirt, Natalia Trevino Amaro, is running her first half marathon, and we are doing it together, dressed in waste (yep, she's making some upgrades to my skirt and making herself an outfit), as a sustainability duo!

In addition, we will both be at the 2025 RBC Brooklyn Half Plogging on Friday, May 16th at 5:30 p.m. We would love to have you join us; sign up below.

Chicago on May 31

I am excited to be joining the Bank of America Chicago Distance Series team again for another plogging event in Chicago, this time in Garfield Park, as part of the West Side Wellness Events.

Come join us for a plog (or share with Chicago-based friends).

This trailer for Ocean, a documentary with David Attenborough (who turned 99 TODAY!). I can't wait to watch it, but the trailer alone chills.


“It seems to me that the natural world is the greatest source of excitement; the greatest source of visual beauty; the greatest source of intellectual interest. It is the greatest source of so much in life that makes life worth living.”

-Sir David Attenborough (Happy 99th Birthday to this amazing human)


Thanks to our partner, HydraPak

Before I race Broken Arrow, I will be a part of a really cool initiative with HydraPak; they are having a repair and clean program. Runners will be able to bring their dirty or broken HydraPak products and we will clean, repair, and replace parts when needed. I LOVE this idea, and hope it becomes something we see more of. Repair should be our first step.

Of course, I will be utilizing HydraPak in every one of the events I will be running this year. Some I will use my fave SkyFlask 350ml, some the Tempo Pro (look for branded ones!), and others will require a vest with multiple bottles tucked away inside. I love that they now have the narrow tops, which are easier for vests and belts. I am seeing more runners using bottles every time I go to a race, and it brings me so much joy.

Beyond that, once you run with one of their bottles, you will see that it actually saves you time. You can have your own product at your own strength, and not have to choke down water at every aid station. You can breeze on through. It is the best!

--

Be kind to one another, yourself, and this beautiful planet of ours.

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