A very teary hello from the airport.

This morning I left St Louis, ugly crying my way to the airport as I thought about the life I was leaving behind there.

Of course the people, its always about the people, but it was also the place.

The first few years I lived there, when I would travel, and people would ask me where I lived, I would say, "St Louis", to which they would raise an eyebrow (much like this emoji 🤨 ), and I would feel deeply uncomfortable. I would say something like, "yeah, I know, right?".

Back then I kinda felt that too. It wasn't somewhere I would have chosen to live, but the reality is when you are the partner of a university coach, you could pick a city you would want to live, and know that not a single job may open up for 5 years, 10 years, even longer, and if it does, you better believe that if you want it, others do too. In most cities, there are only a handful of cross country and track coaches.

A long time ago I let go of where I "wanted" to live, and instead saw it as where I absolutely did not want to live. I eliminated locations instead of choosing them.

In the last year, when people would make the 🤨 face, something felt deeply uncomfortable in a different way, I felt defensive of St Louis, it was a great place to live, I wanted to live there. It took me about six months before I could really say that out loud, especially to New Yorkers or Californians, but it was true, St Louis ended up being a great place for us to live.

I was happy there. Life slotted into place as I found my "people" within the various important elements of my life.

I was fortunate and so grateful to have neighbors who loved and cared for me almost immediately. Who treated my girls like their grandchildren, sisters, family. Moving in during the height of the pandemic meant that we were all craving connection and we really lucked out with our little cul-de-sac.

Over time I found my mama friendship group (arising as Chloe's friends mums), I was proud to be on the board of Earth Day 365 where my environmentally passionate people kept me going in moments the Missouri was showing a little too much in our city, and I had other friends who filled my cup. I had my favorite coffee shop where I was a regular, restaurants we visited over and over, and running loops I knew well.

I felt like a bird who had finally put the last pieces of straw into my nest, ready to settle down and rest.

Then Steve had a really crappy job situation happen. It was cruel and unfair, and made it impossible for him to enjoy his work and provide his athletes with what they needed (you don't need to look it up...its here).

I knew then that moving was our only option, and began to process the idea of moving again.

Steve had interviews all over the country, and when he brought University of Chattanooga up as a place to apply, we both saw it as practice.

Then Steve went to Chattanooga for the in person interview. He came back with a confidence I haven't seen in a long time. He came back with a twinkle in his eye, an excitement for the entirety of the athletic department that welcomed him in (and let me just tell you, that doesn't happen often).

This is the place for us.

To which, I responded with:

🤨

He asked me to trust him, he knows the level of crunchiness I need, and if he believed this had it, then I believed him.

Some of my best friends told me they thought I would love it there, which helped me begin to imagine life in Tennessee (side note, just spelled that word wrong, need to work on that, ha). I still had never been there though, how could I grow to love life in a place I had never seen?

He got the job, an incredible offer, and fit for our family. We found a school that had everything I was looking for the girls to learn.

Steve pushed me to go for a weekend, and I drove immediately to a run crew group run.

I felt it, I saw it, I got it.

Yep, we can be happy there. I know we will be happy there, we will find our home (as a state of mind, we already have purchased a house, it came together beautifully).

And yet, this morning, my heart felt broken leaving my life in St Louis behind. I could have stayed there through the girls graduation, maybe even longer.

And so, we begin this new chapter, after a trip back to England (hence the being in an airport, we head to Heathrow this evening), and I am feeling all the feels. All the pain and hurt of leaving the people and place I love. All the dread over the dating game I have to play with new friends to see if they are the right people for me (and I HATE small talk). All the exploration of finding our fave new restaurants, coffee shops, trails. It is an adventure, but it also lacks the comfort and knowing.

After I send this email, I am taking the next 11 days off. To be with my family and friends at home. To be present. To recharge and reset after an exhausting packing up to move period. Steve accepted the job five weeks ago, so it moved fast.

I share all this to partially update you, but also to say that sometimes we don't want change, we kind of hope change doesn't happen, then it does, and when it does, there can be a part of you that longs to go back to the comfort of life from before, another part of you that is excited for and trusts what is ahead.

As I tell my girls, there is good and hard in every moment. I know I have a lot of good and hard ahead, and that is what life is all about.

We announced our five runners for Racing For Sustainability this week, check out our announcement video here. More on this in the weeks to come!

I intially was sad to see the passing of Fauja Singh, at age 114. The book my dear friend (and Fauja's friend), Simran Jeet Singh wrote about Fauja's life is one of our girls favorites. I talked to Simran that day, and then he sent me this article, showing a different take on his passing. A beautiful read.

PS. Simran was on Running Realized (my favorite episode) and Running For Real, both worth a listen.

Thanks to our partner, AG1

Oh I have something so exciting to share with you about AG1, coming very soon, and let's just say I don't know how I would have got through this last five weeks without it (and no, its not AG1 itself ;) ), sharing soon.

As you would expect, my scoop of AG1 upon wakeup in the morning has got me through this insanely chaotic period. It was my comfort, my stability, in a time that was extremely stressful. I knew I could rely on my AG1 to start my day with 75+ vitamins, minerals, pre/probiotics and superfoods to support my whole body. Most healthy habits can be hard to maintain... this only takes 30 seconds every day, so it really doesn't get any easier!

Start giving your body the nutrients it (and you!) deserves. If you use my link, you’ll also get a free welcome kit with a shaker bottle, 5 AG1 travel packs and more with your first purchase.

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Be kind to one another, yourself, and this beautiful planet of ours.

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