I will be honest; I am more addicted to my phone than I like to admit.

I find myself using moments of quiet when my girls are happily playing a game together or those moments of calm post run to immerse myself in my phone. As I pick it up, I justify it with, "I am doing this for work" or because I need to check if something needs addressing. Sometimes that is true, but quite often, it is simply to avoid any lull in constant stimulation.

Unless there is something I truly need to do, I only use my phone for a minute or so before that critical voice comes through, "What are you doing?! You said you wanted to be present more; go do that!"

I need to work on that voice being a little more compassionate; after all, phones are designed to be addictive and tempting to pick up. Some of the smartest minds in the world have worked on making them that way; it's not actually my fault or your fault.

That said, it is important to me that I continue to progress towards being at peace with quiet, stillness, moments of....well, life. Moments that are for being lived, not distracted from, especially as it happens dozens of times in my day, and when I think about that, it doesn't feel conducive to the life I want to be living.

I don't like feeling that constant urge to check my phone, and that's why I removed as much as I possibly could from it. Instagram, Strava, Whoop, Calendar, and of course, text messages are the only apps I use often on it, choosing to delete all other social media and my email from my phone, and yet, I still find I pick it up, scanning for something, anything to click on.

Oh, I should check our bank accounts. I checked yesterday, no need to look today.

I should update my Whoop journal, now that I have added this behavior into my routine. Ooooorrr I could do that tomorrow morning when I open the Whoop app to check in.

How warm is it outside? Go outside and feel it!

As I prepare to head home to England next week, followed by an extended family vacation to.....Disney World (yep, for Christmas; yep, we are crazy; yep, I am a little stressed about it), I will be doing my usual practice of deleting Instagram from my phone.

In general, I try to limit my time on Instagram to as low as it can be, shooting for 20 minutes a day (although on days I create content, it ends up being closer to 45, which feels like a LOT of time staring at a single app).

It always feels satisfying to delete it, but it is also interesting that for the first few days, my screen time doesn't end up being much less, as my brain frantically searches for what I "need" to look at on my phone instead. I find myself clicking on random apps, and telling myself stories about why I really should use this time to reorganize the Favorites album of my photos, or make a new playlist on Spotify.

After a few days, I settle in a bit more, and find I can put my phone away and leave it away for a few hours at a time...something I usually struggle to do unless I have intentional time with a friend and put it away in my bag.

The thing is, this is not to judge; we all have to do what is best for us and our own lives. I want to still be connected to my phone. My family lives far away; none of my best friends live in St. Louis; it feels good to be connected to those people I care about. But for me, I really don't like the feeling of needing to fill any voids in time with screen time; I want to get better at sitting on the couch....simply to sit on the couch. (Imagine that!)

I am not sure what the answer is here, how I can find a healthy balance for me, but I think unfortunately, it is going to come down to strengthening the muscle of noticing a desire to grab my phone, feeling the feelings of that moment and why I want to pick it up (what am I avoiding?), letting that craving pass, and taking the win of processing through it.

Sometimes I will manage it; other times, the reason I tell myself to pick it up will be too strong and I will kick myself; other times still, I will be glad I did.

For me, my goal is to get to a place where I can be compassionate with myself for those urges. As with everything, when I am kind to myself, that's when I make the most progress.

This week on the Running For Real podcast...

Here's the official description:

Nadia Ruiz was only 14 when she ran her first marathon. Since then she’s run 158 more (with 82 BQs), 136 half marathons, 13 half Ironmen, five full Ironmen, multiple ultras… Her parents are her inspiration to share her passion for health and education and to be a role model as a female, a Latina, and a child of immigrants.

Here's the real deal:

Nadia came to my plogging event in Chicago a month ago, and it was wonderful to have some time with her and hear her story. We had never met before, and someone who comes to pick up trash the day after running a marathon is a certain kind of (good!) person, so I knew she would have something important that could be shared on the podcast...

"Something important" was a massive understatement. Nadia has a beautiful relationship to herself, to her family, and to her purpose. She doesn't let her big social media following cloud why she does what she does, and that shone through in this episode. I absolutely loved it.

This afternoon I get to run 45 minutes! I have been building my way up, and while the shorter runs were easier for me to run faster, I am now running (literally) face-to-face into my fitness wall. The cross training and 20 years of running under my belt have allowed me to get to this point after five months off running, but now I am finding that these "longer" runs are making my legs really sore and I am struggling to keep moving at the speed I was a few weeks ago.

I don't run faster for ego reasons, at least not consciously. It is the pace my Achilles feels best at, but as my dear husband has reminded me, at a certain point my body is going to have to adjust to running slower than 7 minute pace, and now is that time. Onwards we go with this recovery journey!

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Free tickets to the Boston Run Show? I am developing my panel for that event; I know for sure my friend Alex Hermanson will be joining me on stage (check out his IG here), but more details coming...

​This is an interesting survey from Running USA and MarathonFoto about the shoes people train in and race in. Some of this did surprise me....not that I am a typical shoe nerd, as a rare "fast" runner who has never worn a pair of supershoes (and does not plan to until someone makes them out of hemp or flax seed!).

On that note, I am really grateful to MarathonFoto, who have been supporting me at events all year. They sent photographers to my Boston and Chicago plogging events and gave the photos to the runners for free. It has also been meaningful to have my race photos this fall to see the pure joy in my face as I return to running; I hope I can hold onto that as I continue progressing.

"We expect more from technology and less from each other. We are lonely but afraid of intimacy. Digital connections and the human connections are not the same."

-Sherry Turkle

Thanks to our partner, HydraPak

If I were to recommend one starting point for being environmentally conscious in your life as a runner, it would be to get yourself a handheld water bottle. More and more races are offering refill stations on course and it means you can have your own hydration that you have practiced with (I love adding PH 1000 as my electrolyte source) and don't have to slow your pace to choke it down; you can sip as you go.

My favorite bottle? By far and away, my favorite bottle of all time is the HydraPak Skyflask 350ml; I use it in all my races now, as it doubles as a pre-race, during, and post-race bottle. It also fits into my small over-the-shoulder bag. It is just wonderful.

Get yourself 10% off below with code TINAMUIR10

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Be kind to one another, yourself, and this beautiful planet of ours.

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