The hardest thing to remember, the easiest to forget
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Yesterday, Bailey yelled from upstairs, "Chloe is throwing up," to which I had my usual instinctual reaction of getting there as fast as I could. It didn't matter that Steve was standing less than a meter away from me and could deal with it; I launched myself up the stairs and....well, it was a blur, but I walked fast, if not ran a few steps to her room (Steve right behind me), to see Chloe not fully throwing up, but, well, I will spare you the details, but let's say it was a false alarm. With Chloe on the couch so we could keep an eye on her for a few hours, Steve said, "Are you okay?" To which I replied, "No, I am kinda freaked out how quickly I abandoned my foot in that moment." I had. When my daughter was not in danger, but in pain/discomfort, I forgot about everything and just went to her. An instinctive parental reaction, but also one that could really do damage to my long-term mobility and I'd done it in a situation that wasn't truly an emergency (especially with Steve right there). It gave me the reality check I needed that I am not healed and that I do still need to be careful, need to respect myself and my healing. I had spoken to Ana (from the podcast episode below) just a few days prior, when I asked her if there was any way I could do a few minutes jog between aid stations when crewing my bestie, Ryan (Montgomery) at Western States at the end of June. Her response was basically, "Absolutely not." And I respect that; I will listen, but I also know myself, and I do like to push the boundary, and that scares me a little. So far I have kept that part of me at bay, but now, when I look down at my foot and it looks somewhat normal, it is easy to assume that the next stages of recovery will come as quickly as the first part has. If I went from him slicing my leg open to walking around unassisted in shoes in five weeks, surely I will be able to jog a little five weeks later. I have been saying all along that I suspect I will have some really tough periods. I handled those early stages, dare I say with ease, but the greatest challenge begins now, when it looks (and is starting to feel) more like a normal foot, but there is a LONG way to go. Can I find the line of progressing forward with the help of my amazing support network (those in the episode below, plus Steve; my St. Louis PT; Sarah; my strength coach, Ryan; and Jay Dicharry) without abandoning it all when either my parental instinct or my ego gets involved... We shall see... This week on the Running For Real podcast...Here's the official description: After being diagnosed with Haglund's Deformity, Tina wrestled with how to treat the debilitating pain. After doing extensive research and exhausting the more conservative options, she decided to have surgery. Here's the real deal: You know it. If you have this or know someone who does, this episode could be the biggest gift you could give them.
I shared this video yesterday. It is Global Running Day AND World Environment Day tomorrow. Rather than simply going for a run, you could do something to give back, as an ode to the sport you love and the community that has filled you with life.
I am headed up to Chicago this weekend for the 13.1 (one of the races in the Chicago Distance Series), and looking forward to taking the train up to this city that I have really come to enjoy over the last few years. If you will be running that race, let me know! I joined Mau from Aire Libre on their podcast, Beyond Running, a few weeks ago. It was a beautiful conversation that went in totally different directions from where other podcasts have gone in the past. Especially if you are someone who likes to travel, but struggles with the guilt of it, this is worth a listen.
Speaking of Aire Libre... Come join me in Costa Rica this November! You can use code TINAMUIR for 10% off. -- My dear, dear friend Sarah Crouch's novel, Middletide, comes out in a week, and it is getting all kinds of attention in Book of the Month-type articles (including Amazon's recommended reads!). I devoured it in a few days, and smiled so big when I read the acknowledgments :)
Last year I ran part of Leadville with Brian Reynolds, the first double amputee to run the race, and the documentary made about that race, Brian Reynolds: The Leadville Trail 100, is in three film festivals right now. You might find a showing near you sometime soon (or you can purchase a pass to watch it).
A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch but on its own wings. – Charlie Wardle Thanks to our partner, Precision Fuel & HydrationI have started bike workouts, which is very exciting, but combined with the summer humidity that is creeping in, I have been sweating a lot (even with a fan blasting at my face), and I know that lost sweat means I need to repalce those electrolytes. Chloe calls my Precision hydration "spicy water" and she drinks it any chance she gets. I really love the taste, as well as knowing I can pick what strength works best for my body. They have three strengths, so you can choose what feels right for you (or you can use their free fuel and hydration planner to find out exactly what you need).
As I enter into the longer workout and bike ride phase of my rehab, I am excited to keep building my stomach up with what it can handle as I bike, which ultimately will give practice for when I run. If you are running a fall race, now is the time to start practicing and getting your stomach used to eating gels on the go. Precision has 300ml flow gels as well as the single serve packets, so you can test out what works best for you. Poeple who don't normally like the taste of gels love the simple flavor of Precision, as it really doesn't give you flavor fatigue; they go down easy every time.
-- Be kind to one another, yourself, and this beautiful planet of ours. Enjoying these? Why not forward to a friend who may enjoy. Encourage them to sign up and get these emails too. |
Running For Real
World Athletics announced this morning that the World Athletics Road Running Championships is being moved out of San Diego to another city. My role as Sustainability Director for the event? Over. In some ways, I am relieved. I was in over my head; the imposter thoughts were loud and strong; could I really pull this off? Sure, I had the city of San Diego in my corner, but there was a LOT I didn’t know. I was feeling my way through the dark, and I felt I was doing okay at it, but never quite...
Last year, I noticed something about my sleep. If I had given myself at least 10 minutes of quiet time during the day, I was able to fall asleep at night. On days I did not allow myself that time, as I had my phone in my hand, or feeding me content as I showered, walked up the stairs, and ran, I struggled to fall asleep. It was like my brain was unable to process anything as it went through the day, and was forced to go through it as I lay in bed, finally in quiet. l'll be honest; sometimes I...
A few weeks ago, I shared that I was feeling motivated and energized to keep pushing forward this movement of doing whatever we can do to be our best selves, and to believe in the future we are working to realize. I have to be honest: My ability to do that has faltered over the past week, has been intermittent, has been tested. Yes, it does feel like every day when I look at my social media, I see some kind of devastating blow that has occurred in the past 24 hours. It feels like every day...