16 hours and 10 minutes after I started the UTCT 100, I crossed the finish line.

578 days post achilles surgery. Hundreds of hours of rehab later. The biggest training block I have done since 2016, with a move across the country during the most critical months of training for that race.

Nevermind the race itself.

I had watched videos entitled, "The Hardest 100k in the World!" and seen videos of people clambering over boulders towards the end of the race, but I had no idea just how many technical elements it would throw my way.

Lets just say that all these months I have been watching Bailey do rock climbing, I should have put on a harness and joined her. Those were the kind of skills I needed (and did not have) on this day.

So yeah, there were a lot of emotions at the finish line.

It wasn't that I didnt think I would make it there. I knew I would. In a way, I have never been more confident that I would get to a finish line, but it was the accumulation of all the small choices of commitment, of vulnerability, of courage that led to that moment, led to me even standing on the start line.

That was why I broke down in tears.

In some ways, that race felt like a dream. Like I wasn't even in my body at all.

I am still digging through the layers of what this last 18 months represents, and when I look at the stats, the numbers of the day, its hard to wrap my brain around.

How can a human being run (or fast hike) for 16 hours? How can someone keep moving for all that time over the most difficult terrain? How can we go from feeling like the task ahead is impossible, to feeling strong and powerful a few hours later?

How did I consume nothing but gels every 24 minutes for 16 hours and not end up sick of the taste?

Well, with that one, Precision works some kind of voodoo magic.

Ryan, my crew/best friend even pushed me to eat other things- a potato with salt, salt and vinegar chips (knowing they are my fave), fruit. To which I responded, "NO! I just want my Precision!"

Magic. And it works. Clearly. I finished 7th in my first 100k over a course I was definitely not experienced enough to do.

I often talk about how we can be experiencing so many things at the same time, and this race was the best example I have ever known.

I was in awe of this planet, mouth almost gaping in wonder at the scene unfolding in front of me with every turn. The most spectacular views.

I was in awe of my own body. Of the ability of the human body to heal, recover, and stack week upon week of training to be ready for something like this, and execute when it matters.

I was frozen in terror if I thought too far ahead. If I thought about what I was asking my body to do. If I moved too far away from the present, I just wanted it to be over. I wanted to be at the finish line, the one thing I promised myself I would not do if I were to give competitive running a go again.

That's not to say there were not moments I longed for it to be over. I think that is humanness that we shouldn't push away, but allow ourselves to feel. We don't want to be in discomfort. Of course we don't. Pushing out of our comfort zone, our brain is desperate to find a way back to comfort.

When we push past that and find a way to continue, we feel the most alive. Late in the race, there were moments I was thriving, not just surviving.

I like that I chose a course I was not ready for. I showed myself I am capable of so much more than I ever knew, and *maybe* gave you a nudge to get curious with what you want to explore within your own world.

I like that this race was the most difficult first 100k I could have chosen. I rediscovered the tenacity and fire in me that had been smoldering the last decade.

I like that this was the ultimate way to test myself and see if this is really something I want to commit to in the next few years.

The answer?

The answer is yes. Yes, I do.

Just not in the way I expected.

I realized during this run, that chasing others, trying to beat people is not what motivates me anymore.

I want to get across the finish line as fast as I, Tina, possibly can. It really doesn't matter where other people end up if they have done their best and I have done mine.

Part of reaching the finish line as fast as I can, means "wasting" seconds slowing down to put my hand in the ocean as I ran along the beaches, or stopping to take in the view at sunrise on Lions Head or staring in disbelief at the brilliant blue of the ocean from the top of the mountain, taking an extra minute at the aid station to simply be in the presence of people I love and care about.

If that's wasted time, then its time well wasted. It allows me to hold on to the joy that slowly seeped out of my running in my past.

Being my best, means allowing all parts of me to be seen, listened to, and fulfilled.

Before, my running was about getting from point a to b as soon as possible. Blocking out the world, putting my eyes on the ground ahead and focusing.

Now I know for me, I need to do the exact opposite. I need to blend all the important elements of my life into my running, into my training, into everything I do.

As to what that next step has in store?

I haven't allowed myself to go there. I took an additional week in South Africa, exploring, resting, healing, and letting my hair down, with my best friend. I needed that just as much as I needed to be ready for the moment last Saturday.

What's next is a thought exploration for next week.

And yes, I will bring you along for that too.

If you want to experience UTCT 100k with me, this video Precision made captures many of the key moments of the day. The videographer, Angus, a native South African, was able to get all over the place to bring you with me on this adventure.

We are currently organizing our Racing For Sustainability plans for next year. We have bibs available for many sold out races, so be sure to fill out this form if you wanna join us

This article I wrote for New York Road Runners is a fun CS new little insight into what its like working in sustainability on the TCS New York City Marathon weekend.

My dear friend, J Solle, also wrote one about their experience as a nonbinary runner at the TCS New York City Marathon. It's well worth a read.

“Once in a while, life gives you a chance to measure your worth. Sometimes you're called upon to make a split-second decision to do the right thing, defining which way your life will go. These are the choices that make you who you are.”

-Perry Moore

Thanks to our partner, Precision Fuel & Hydration

I think I have made it clear that without Precision, I would not have made it. Fueling in a race is one of (if not the) most important elements of running your best. I now have to live with the fact that I could have run faster in my marathon days, when I was consuming less than half of what I needed during races.

Now I know better, and this race shows me (along with all the other races I have run this year, including yes, my 3 hour marathon in New York a few weeks ago), that Precision works. I shouldn't be surprised, I have known the team for years now, but this race, looking back knowing that I wanted nothing but Precision. Damn, that is something special.

As I shared above, they are having a Black Friday sale, so you can get 20% off if you order by Monday.

For reference, I use the PH 1000 for electrolytes, flow gel (which I squeeze into a reusable container (yay!)) and caffeinated gels. The flow gel is so easy to get your calories in. You won't look back.

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Be kind to one another, yourself, and this beautiful planet of ours.

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